All The Little Things

By: Heidi Dischler

Breathe. Caroline always tells herself when the panic sets in, as her chest tightens, her throat closes, and her hands and feet begin to tingle. Fix it. You’re alone. You’re going to die.

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Book Description

Ever since her mother died alone after taking medicine that caused her to have an allergic reaction, Caroline can’t even be away from people she knows without her emotions spiraling out of control. Her only solace is in writing lists. Lists about why dying alone sucks. Lists about how great community college will be. Lists about why her dream college isn’t the right one for her. Lists won’t save her as her anxiety gets worse due to the looming date of her college decision, though. Her grandparents don’t want her to stay at the local community college, but she can’t risk leaving without falling apart.

Caroline continually hides her pain from everyone: she never lets her therapist in and refuses to take her meds in fear of dying like her mother. When Bennett Williams comes back to town, though, Caroline grows closer to him and the maturity and healing that he has seemingly found after his brother’s suicide. He can see through her pain. He understands why she can’t leave. But Bennett doesn’t let her hide behind her darkness. He pushes her to get better—to grow through her pain. As Caroline becomes caught between being comfortable and being happy, she must choose whether or not she is willing to face her darkness and chase her dreams, or if she’ll push her darkness back, staying only in places that don’t make her think: Breathe. Fix it. You’re alone. You’re going to die.

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