They Were The Best Of Gnomes, They Were The Worst Of Gnomes

By: Robert P. Wills

Drimblerod, a mild mannered Gnome thinks he's hired a like-minded fellow Gnome to help run is used magical wand shop. Unfortunately Grimbledung failed to mention his Pixie-Madness. Or his drinking. Or carousing.
The town will never be the same. Especially after Grimbledung burns it down.

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Book Description

They were the Best of Gnomes They were the Worst of Gnomes

Well, one each, really. These two Gnomes -Grimbledung and Drimblerod- are just trying to get along in life when their worlds collide.
Drimblerod has a problem with the Merchant Guild. They aren’t happy with the level of his sales at his used wand shop, Second Hand Sorcery. The issue is that his low sales affect the amount of their cut off the top. To make matters worse, the local Merchant Guild Dues Collector (an Ogre no less) is unhappy with Drimblerod’s income because that directly affects his cut off the top which comes before the Guild’s cut off the top, of course. There are a lot of tops when it comes to guilds.

The problem is times are tough (for more than just Drimblerod) and with folks out of work, most of the people coming into Drimblerod’s shop are those nefarious, hated-by-merchants ‘window shoppers’ who aren’t planning on buying anything. If they just kept to themselves, it wouldn’t be so bad, but they also seem to talk actual customers out of buying wands! Now Drimblerod is in the market for a way to get rid of these pesky non-buying folks to make room for those actually in the market for a reliable used magic wand.

While searching a battlefield for wands he can resell, Drimblerod comes across the solution- a partner he can trust (he's a fellow Gnome, after all) and one that will keep away pesky non-buying window shoppers. Little does he realize that his new-found partner suffers from Pixie Madness! And not the good kind.

As Grimbledung gets used to his new life of respectable shop ownership, the pair end up befriending Nulu Bentknees the Trolless across the street, Pozzuoli Consigliore the Dwarf next door, and even the town constable- Akita Finnish (a Werewolf who would rather bask in the sun than do anything else).

Along with Big Julie, the headmistress of the school of magic down the road, this diverse group learns to deal with Grimbledung's antics as they try to refocus his outlandish get rich schemes and unpredictable outbursts into something more productive. Or at least more quiet! Honestly, they would be happy if he paid for some of his drinks.

Things start to heat up for the gang when Grimbledung manages to annoy the entire Great Halfling Empire. Well, not the whole Great Halfling Empire but at least the Halfling soldiers in town. It takes until late in Book 2 for the ENTIRE empire to get annoyed with him. He is just one Gnome, after all. With an impending invasion, everyone is on their toes. It doesn't help that Grimbledung is stepping on them!

We'd like to say that "Everything works out in the end" but "Raging Inferno!" is unfortunately more accurate.

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